Aching Brain

Ah, summer balls. The dodgy marquee, the tribute band, the cheap tuxedos, the ladies in their beautiful gowns and oh so meticulously applied makeup.

All this leads to the inevitable question. It runs along the lines of..

Darling, I’m a girl and as such have no pockets and only carry this tiny little bag which is only big enough for 10 cigarettes and a lighter. Could you put this large wallet/camera/backup fag packet* in one of your many suit pockets.

Note the lack of question mark.

At the risk of sounding like a metrosexual (a word I learnt the other day refers to a straight man who preens, pouts and poses like only a gay man can), I like to think I cut a rather dashing figure in a suit and the last thing one needs is for the line of said suit to be ruined by a large object in a pocket.

The only other alternative is to wander around carrying said items and worry all night about losing one of them.

*sighs*

* = delete as applicable, or if the bag is very small, include all three.

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